Just Cuz I Ain't Vibin' Like I Used To...

Sometimes it’s best to just vibe with yourself. I mean sometimes it’s really best to rid yourself of those unnecessary pleasures for awhile and just vibe with yourself. No clubs, no blackberry, no sex, no alcohol, just you…vibing with yourself…your inner self. I mean sometimes it’s just therapeutic to listen to your heartbeat. I know we all know that our heart is beating because we’re still breathing, but sometimes it’s good to just slow down and listen to it... Drama, negativity, stress, it all becomes too much sometimes. Just take a step back…if only for a minute. Celibacy, if only for a minute, is cleansing. It’s ok to say no. Be selfish for a change. If it’s not adding, then it must be subtracting. Cause I’m just not vibing with myself like I was before I let all these outside forces invade my personal space. My atmosphere. Have sex so much it becomes the norm. And for what? For who? Me? Nah, couldn’t be for me, cause if it was for me I wouldn’t be feeling like this. I would be vibing with myself. I mean you seem good and I ain’t bad, but I ain’t good either. I’m just here. Doin’ it. Doin’ you…for you. Not me. Why do I have this phone by me with every move I make? Hell, I can’t even go to the bathroom without it following me. Don’t have time to think a complete thought without lookin’ at this...UGLY *** PHONE! Nah, but it is kinda tight tho. Lemme text Dar… See that’s that BS that I be talkin’ about! Ugh! AND WHY IN THE HELL AM I THIS DAMN DRUNK ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT?!!! I mean IT’S WEDNESDAY for goodness sake! Geez! Watch me as I digress… I just wanna vibe with myself. No, I don’t wanna vibe with you. No, I don’t wanna come see you so we can “talk.” No, I just wanna vibe with myself. Listen to my heartbeat for a change. You don’t love me and I don’t love you, so quit actin’ like it’s more than what it is. I need to detox, if only for a short while, even it is just for 24 hours. Or maybe for a weekend. I mean what am I really going to miss if I don’t go downtown this weekend? I can save that $20 that I would spend gettin’ into that HIGH *** CLUB!! AND WHEN DID PAYIN’ $20 TO GET INTO A CLUB BECOME THE NORM AROUND HERE? Hell, Dallas AND Houston have lost they mind! Woosah, woosah…let me calm down… Back to what I was sayin’…wait what was I sayin’? Oh yeah, I don’t wanna go out this weekend. I just want to chill in my nice apartment, on my nice (expensive) couch, and watch my nice flat screen TV (that I paid too much for…should've just kept that Magnavox my mama gave me), and cook myself a nice dish, and listen to Maxwell (Fortunate) and just vibe with myself. No friends, no phone, no alcohol, and no weekend ‘boo.’ Just me and the breath I breathe…chillin’. Both just appreciating my heartbeat. And this detox ain’t about nobody else, but me. My body. My spirit. My health. My sanity. Cause everyone and everything else is driving me crazy. I just need to get my vibe back. THAT vibe back…with myself. Cause even if ain’t nothin’ else in my world goin’ right, if I’m vibin’ with myself, everything else will take care of itself. And so will I…if only for a short while.

It’s called MOTIVATION family…one decision at a time, one day at a time, and my life will be fine. It’s almost the weekend!

Is The Grass Really Greener On The Other Side???

"I know what it is to be in need, I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Phillipians 4:12

We always want more than what we have. Always. By nature, we are not built to be content with what we have. There are only those split seconds in life, in which we are content with our life. Only in that split second. Now I'm not talking about being content with a particular situation nor am I referring to being satisfied with a certain person. I'm talking about being 99.9% (b/c nothing can ever be 100%) content with EVERYTHING in your life...at one time. Doesn't come around too often does it? As you can see, I did not use the word happy or pleased because happiness and contentment are not one in the same. Learning to be content with one's own life situations can bring about a peace to one's soul that trumps any discord that life's circumstances may bring. Let me be very clear, I am not saying be content with mediocrity or the lesser thereof. But I am saying be content with the hand that you have been dealt until you and your God create an atmosphere in which you can change it. I'm smart enough to know that I probably couldn't handle being a multi-millionaire right now. I'm not ready. Spiritually nor emotionally. And if there is one thing that I know to be true is that when you get something before you're ready for it, you will mess it up. Whether it be a relationship, money, fame, whatever... That's why I am content riding around the state of Texas in the Honda Boy. Me and my muzik. I can not have a dime in my pocket and have a smile on my face because I have a calmness in my spirit that surpasses possessing any material thing in this world. When your equilibrium is off, nothing in this world matters. Not the cars, the clothes, nor the clubs or the rest of the shallow things that entice our brains. All that matters is a peace of mind and a calmness of the spirit. I'm content in my soul with all that I have been blessed with. But there is undoubtedly a struggle on the inside that ensues when your mind wants something that your heart and soul are not ready for. All I'm saying Motivation family is we all want better for ourselves. We want more things that are better than the things we already have. We want to see more places that are more scenic than the places we've already seen. We want the type of money that can fly friends out on an all expense paid trip for the weekend just because its the weekend. But the grass isn't always greener on the other side, especially if you don't have the money to cover the water bill during your life's recession.

It's called self MOTIVATION...if you don't do it, don't be mad when somebody else does. Holla family. Until tomorrow...be easy.

There's more to life...

Something became vividly clear to me while sitting at Starbucks…it’s really not about me. Never has been, never will be. With or without me, the Earth and the contents therein will continue to turn. I was a functioning idiot up until the age of 21. It was my way, the highway or we can square up. Real talk. If I lied to you (shrugging shoulders), I lied to you. If you said something I didn’t like, a confrontation came with it. My heart was good, but it was also selfish. Then….life hit me. I believe that there are only a handful of individuals my age that know what Rock Bottom looks like. If you do, and you made it out alive, I know your heart just skipped a beat two times over when you read those words. Rock Bottom gave me knowledge that I couldn’t acquire anywhere else. It felt like it was the place where everything I had done in my past was waiting to get “reacquainted” with me. It’s the place where everything that I had been running from, as Jeezy puts it, “was gaining on my a**.” All at once. The place where I met Karma face to face and knew it was for real. Rock Bottom is that place where all those things I THOUGHT I was, stared me down and let me know, “you ain’t sh*t!” It’s that place where I laid all my facades down, next to my screwed up morals. It’s that place where regardless of what people did to me, I vowed I wouldn’t do the same thing to them. I went in a spoiled little girl and came out a grown a** woman. It’s that place where I stopped judging people, because just as many fingers that I point at others, are pointing back at me. Rock Bottom is the place where I learned to be honest, just for the sake of being honest. I learned that karma does not discriminate and there is no respect of persons. It all catches up with all of us in the end. It’s that place where I learned that it’s more to life than just wearing the letters and who knows my name. Rock Bottom was that place where I learned that my God deserved more time and effort than my relationship with any single human being on this Earth. I was wrong before I went there. So wrong. It’s really not about me. Really it’s not. I’m a real individual, but I had to die to myself before I could become who I am today. Today I’m committed to a cause and a purpose that’s much larger than myself. Down there I realized one thing…that it all catches up with you in the end. And it became vividly clear to me…that it’s really not about me. Never has been never will be. Don’t be like me and have to hit Rock Bottom before you realize that…

An advocate for real change…motivating you from the inside out.

Welcome to my world…everyday will be a different day. No two days will be the same. I hope to motivate you, to become your own change. This entry is dedicated to my 22 Founders who realized many decades ago that individual selfishness will not get you world wide change. See you tomorrow…